


All of time and space

by Lilithangel



Series: Jack and River totally know each other [6]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-16
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilithangel/pseuds/Lilithangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Earth has another immortal defender so Jack buggers off and runs into River who brings him back to the Doctor. Amy and Rory learn to understand and not really cope with their daughter’s sex drive (or the Doctor’s come to that).</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of time and space

“They’re still in there,” Rory said as Amy stalked past.

“They could be doing anything in there, with that Jack,” Amy said. “He could be holding them hostage or anything.”

“He asked for jam,” Rory said, “anyway the TARDIS wouldn’t let him be held hostage inside her.”

It had been two days since River had turned up with a stranger in tow. To be honest he’d been carrying her not being towed by her, even though she’d been complaining about it. The Doctor had been rather put out by him carrying her and Jack had looked at the Doctor oddly before offering to get him sangria which had made the Doctor laugh.

Jack did put River down but only so the Doctor could examine her leading to the first strange conversation. Rory was used to strange conversations around the Doctor but this had to rate right up there.

“I’m fine,” River insisted.

“You nearly died,” Jack said.

“Well you did,” River replied.

“Did you have to die in front of her?” The Doctor said to Jack. “You know how she gets about that.”

“Do I?” Jack said looking surprised.

“Well you will,” the Doctor said testily.

“He will?” River said looking intrigued. “How delicious.”

“I knew there was a reason I regretted letting you two meet,” the Doctor said as his screwdriver finished its scan. “Or I will.”

“She was trying to steal my vortex manipulator,” Jack said.

“My vortex manipulator,” River replied.

“It’s been on my wrist for over a thousand years,” Jack countered.

“You don’t look a thousand,” Amy said.

“Thank you,” Jack said, “I moisturise.”

“Hang on,” Rory interrupted, “what do you mean you died? I thought I was the only one that did that.”

“Not like Jack,” the Doctor said.

“How is he not dead then?” Rory pressed.

“You know how I’ve told you about fixed points?” the Doctor said. “I have told you about fixed points haven’t I? They’re the events that can’t be changed.”

“Yes or times we’ve already lived through,” Rory said, “but you proved that one wrong.”

“Yes, yes,” the Doctor said. “Well Jack’s a fixed point. Something happened and now he springs back like a big human sized elastic band, or a perpetual motion yoyo. I invented one of those you know, got tired of rewinding the string. It’s still around here somewhere…” the Doctor looked around the room as if expecting to see it materialise.

“Not heard it compared to a yoyo before,” Jack said.

“Of course not, that’s because it’s nothing like that at all.”

Jack threw back his head and laughed and just like that a tension Rory hadn’t even known was there was gone.

“You took a full blast from a sonic disruptor,” River scolded.

“So did you,” Jack said and the Doctor tutted, actually tutted, turning his screwdriver back on her.

“It barely grazed me,” River said, “because you stepped in front of me you fool.”

“Can’t die remember,” Jack said and River hit him.

“Not the point,” she said.

“Okay,” Amy interrupted. She’d been watching the interchange with interest and delight. “Everyone’s alright now are they?”

“Right as rain,” the Doctor said with a nod. “Not that rain is always right.”

“Now do I have to ask about your intentions regarding my daughter?” Amy said to Jack with her eyes sparkling.

“Don’t even go there,” River said. “I am a grown woman, mother.”

Jack looked from one woman to the other curiously and then smiled. “I love time travel.”

* * * * *

The next strange conversation Rory encountered was later. The Doctor had insisted River rest and had escorted her to her room which Amy had said was just an excuse to canoodle and had gone after them to play gooseberry (and to catch up with River). Jack had disappeared to find his room (Rory knew there was a story there) and Rory had gone to the kitchen to find something to eat (sometimes it seemed like he was the only one who bothered with things as mundane as food).

Not wanting to step into girl talk (and yes he didn’t have to imagine the Doctor indulging in girl talk, he’d seen it) Rory had taken his sandwich back to the console room on his way to the library. It was much easier to go through the console room to anywhere else in the TARDIS.

He stopped when he heard Jack’s voice not sure if he wanted to intrude on Jack and the Doctor after how awkward their reunion had been.

“Just look at you,” Jack said, “I like the new look. Are you pleased to see me? I’ve missed you.” There was no reply which was odd and Rory moved closer. “Little bit cheekier this time too,” Jack went on in a laughing flirtatious tone.

Jack was alone in the console room, running his hand along the centre console in a manner that was sensual enough to make Rory blush by association.

“How’s he doing?” Jack continued to talk to nothing (although Rory was developing a suspicion). “Good. Where’s he at?” Jack continued. “It’s just easier to ask you, he bends the truth so much I don’t know if he even knows anymore… well then things are going to get interesting soon… You did? I wish I had seen that. You’re gorgeous in any form but we could have danced properly.” Jack’s voice dropped even lower.

Rory decided at the point to finish his sandwich in the kitchen. This Jack fellow seemed to know the TARDIS rather well and it really felt like he was intruding on something private.

* * * * *

“So there I was hanging onto the outside of the TARDIS hollering for the Doctor and we end up at the end of the universe,” Jack said to an entranced Amy and Rory. 

“Not again,” the Doctor said entering the library. “Every time you tell that story it gets wilder.”

“It was pretty wild enough to begin with,” Jack said.

“He takes you to the end of the universe and all we got was a hotel from the 1980s,” Amy complained.

“You got Venice and Van Gogh,” the Doctor said, “and Winston Churchill.”

“Ah Vincent…” Jack said with an idle smile. “Nice guy in the early days very keen to experience new things.”

“Oh yes he was,” River said entering behind the Doctor.

“Right the last thing we want is for you two to compete over historical figures,” the Doctor said. “Blasted fifty first century time travellers.”

“So how do you three know each other?” Amy asked.

“I met the Doctor a few faces ago in London during World War Two,” Jack said, “not my best moment but the Doctor saved me and then the girl he was travelling with then, Rose, she saved me again but it went a little bit wrong.”

“Jack and I have run into each other in several different centuries,” River said, “he was pretending to be an intern on a dig the first time. It was my first dig as well,” she smiled.

“I really wish I could remember what happened there,” Jack said, “Luckily I remember every other encounter. Keeping track is harder but the handy dandy vortex manipulator works wonders.”

“So that’s why you wouldn’t share,” River said.

“Spoilers,” Jack chanted in a passable imitation of River so she hit him.

“All we’ve got are notebooks,” Amy glared at the Doctor.

“Notebooks are great,” the Doctor said, “everyone should have notebooks. Books are great, why else would we have planet libraries?”

“Planet sized libraries?” Rory said.

“An entire planet turned into a library to be accurate,” River said, “might I recommend the thirtieth century for visiting it?”

“We are not visiting some mouldering old library even if it is a whole planet,” Amy said.

“How about a disco nebula?” the Doctor suggested.

“There’s no such thing,” Rory protested, “is there?”

“There’s the Naxion nebula that has solar storms that look like disco balls,” Jack said.

“And the Varlia nebula,” River said, “the stars dance.”

“No,” the Doctor said irritably, “the Xclvnk nebula.”

“Gesundheit,” Rory said and the Doctor glared at him.

“The Xclvnk nebula has the largest dance floor in the Yntrst system,” the Doctor went on. “Two hundred bars including fifty water ones and three mercury ones but I wouldn’t recommend them, not so good for human skin.”

“You’re suggesting we go to a bar?” Jack said.

“I can do bars,” the Doctor said, “and spas, and fun parks too come to that.”

“Ooh,” River said, “how about I-World 5s?”

“What’s that?” Amy said.

“Just the best real virtual fun park in the fortieth century,” River said.

“How can it be a real virtual fun park?” Rory said.

“You plug into fully functional constructs,” Jack said. “The constructs can withstand zero gravity, ten gees and breathe underwater. It’s the most fun way of experiencing being the opposite sex as well.” Jack waggled his eyebrows. “In the adult games.”

“No adult games,” the Doctor said. “Why would you want to play adult games with all the brilliant stuff I-World 5s has to offer?” he looked at them blankly.

“Why indeed?” River said with a smirk at Jack.

“Two words,” Amy said, “bunk beds. For our honeymoon.”

“We’re going to have to do something about that,” River said looking at the Doctor.

“Can you guarantee no running for our lives, no government coups and no alien invasions?” Rory said suspiciously.

“It’s not always running for our lives, government coups and alien invasions,” the Doctor said, “although technically we’d be the alien invasion from their point of view.”

“I-World 5s it is,” River said, “can I drive?”

“No,” the Doctor said.

* * * * *

It was when Rory and Amy came back from the adult games that they found the door to River’s room locked tight and no sign of the other three until a muffled voice from behind the door asked them to come back later, and another suggested much later, and the third asked for jam before squeaking and falling silent.

“So this Jack fellow turns up and suddenly he’s got a sex drive,” Amy complained.

“Don’t,” Rory begged closing his eyes, “I’m trying not to think about it. Anyway you liked him before.”

“That was before this…” Amy gestured at the firmly locked door… “With both of them, it’s not proper.”

“You suggested a threesome with that simulacrum in the last game and I know you’ve considered it with him.”

“Not with my daughter involved I haven’t.”

“She is an adult.”

“Like that matters.”

“You’re right.”

_Inside the room three figures lay tangled together on the bed, fingers entwined listening to the song of the TARDIS as she hummed her approval. At some point River would take the gag out of the Doctor’s mouth but for now she was enjoying the silence and the eight beat rhythm of their hearts._

**Author's Note:**

> This diverges slightly from the timeline of the other stories in the series but since this is Doctor Who I can totally justify it...


End file.
